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[annie]

[Dharmabum42]

hunny, you can send me some good vibes for my poor neck! you totally rock! good on ya!!
_________________
George

"There's something good waitin' down this road"

[echo]

Will Do!!!!
_________________
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
— Anonymous

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
— James Thurber

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
— Victor Frankl

[thatgirl]

How's it going Echo?

[echo]

Hi

Things are pretty much the same. We had a heated discussion the other day when he ignored us for like 3 days in a row.

It wasn't a terrible discussion but it was much of the same and in the middle of it I realized it is much of the same and I am just not into it.

I no longer want it. I do not want to argue or teach him or be in this mess anymore. The whole thing is predictable and dumb. BORING

He was all bent about me not "needing" his help and having others to do it, so I left the things for him to do and he knew it and still no movement.

Me and my mom brought the kids to the zoo on Monday and we had fun.

I have been trying to concentrate on a business statement and goals for the stuff I am trying to do, it is tough. It is hard to articulate.

I plan to enjoy August to the best of my ability and get ready for school shopping and the kids starting school and Sunday school starts up again. So far this time with the kids has been great, trying at times but great just the same!

Leaving my old job was one of the best decisions I have ever made!!
_________________
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
— Anonymous

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
— James Thurber

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
— Victor Frankl

[echo]

A yucky old habit has returned. I think it is triggered by my sisters new baby. Well that and she choked yesterday when I was feeding her. She is 2 weeks and 2 days old and soo wonderful.

She is a good baby and very calming to me. She is just awesome. We lover her.

So the old habit is waiting for the bad. Something soo wonderful and I am sitting here trying to thought stop bad feelings. I remember being soo afraid of SIDS when I had my kids. A friend of mine lost her son when he was a month old, he is/was a couple months younger than my son. I have only known one person to lose their child that way and yet here I am fearing it will happen to my sister.

I do not even like to say it out loud.

Then EEE is back. I thought I was over the EEE paranoia. I am better with it but it is still there. Like I am happy and things are OK and I bet I get bit ...... Who thinks like that!?

What does this have to do with my marriage......not sure. I just know it has something to do with my and my mental state and I am not a big fan of it.

So I will continue to push those thoughts out and see things for what they really are.....wonderful

Wish me luck!
_________________
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
— Anonymous

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
— James Thurber

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
— Victor Frankl

[Gloria]

Hi, Echo,

I still have times when I need to very consciously turn negative thoughts off and turn around to postiive thoughts. Keep trying. And one of the things that is very helpful to me, and so simple is, "It is out of my control." That calms me when I have fears.

Forgive me, but what is EEE?

(((echo)))
_________________
_________________

"What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?"
--Friedrich Nietzsche

"Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast." --Marlene Dietrich

[echo]

Hi Gloria!

Thanks for the post.

EEE = Eastern Equine Encephalitis. There is soo much hype about it every year around here it is horrifying. Then you look at the numbers and it is not as scary but by then everyone is in a panic. It is transferred by mosquito bites. But only if the mosquito bit a bird that had it and and then bites a person or animal. Rare but a couple years ago there were 13 people who got in and 6 who died. Once elderly man lived just up the street from me on the pond. They did airiel spraying that year.

So in truth is it is completely out of my control. I had the kids calm about it the other night and in the morning my mom started the panic up again. Her fact were not even straight.........so silly .....
_________________
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
— Anonymous

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
— James Thurber

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
— Victor Frankl

[silkchaos]

Hey echo.. That "waiting for the bad" - i think it hits us all. The fact is, bad things ARE going to happen... And many of us have issues feeling we "Deserve" the good that happens to us - so we focus ont he fact the bad can & will eventually occur.. And the great things is, since it is GOING to occur eventually - we can even say "I knew it!!!!"

But, remember - good happens too. It sounds easy to say and hard to do - but its not.. Its just another habit..

People do get sick and die.. But people also win the lottery..

You could worry about "this weeks horrible illness" or medical malady (or just watch Dr. Oz... I hate that man.. Does his best to start panics about anything).. Or realize - chances That you aren't going to get it.. Or if you do, worry about it then.

Its much more fun though, to focus on how you would spend 150 million dollars when you win the lottery...
_________________

Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger through his head?
I would not, could not, kill the King. I could not do that evil thing.
I would not wed this girl, you see. Now get her to a nunnery.
~ Green Eggs and Hamlet ~

[echo]

Thanks Silk.

That is a good way to look at things! My mother watches Dr Oz. I watched it one day and was outraged.
_________________
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
— Anonymous

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
— James Thurber

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
— Victor Frankl

[echo]

Don't blink in my house you may miss something. I am not 100% sure because I think he is a procrastinator, but I believe that D understands my position.

I stated that if he cannot commit to and work to keep this family then we are no longer in need of his services.

I am saddened but I honestly think the saddness is for failure. I failed. My kids pain also hurts me. Then money and how to get it. Honestly I just cannot keep doing this and staying in this. It is too one sided.

There are things to think about and I asked him to and if he wants to leave we will talk it through and find him a place.

It is still all my fault and he would try if I did this or that and he feels he does not need to work for my trust and totally says he has not been mean to the kids. Yes the 2 kids who no longer want to be near him for more than 10 minutes.

I am fine taking this blame. I just cannot do it anymore. I am too wonderful and the kids are too beautiful to sit in this and wilt.

This time however it will not involve visitations. It will be done. I cannot subject the kids to it. He doesn't spend time with them now.....they are soo hurt and angry.....but again I may be thinking too far ahead.
_________________
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
— Anonymous

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
— James Thurber

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
— Victor Frankl

[echo]

I went to bed the other night with 2 thoughts.....Oh wow I think he is leaving and oh crap what if he doesn't leave......

I guess yesterday he spent the day with the kids at my sisters pool, they had fun. My sister later was speaking to my mom about how great the day was and how D didn't yell at them or anything and then my mom told her she heard us fighting the night before.

My sister made a point to tell me the story so that I knew they had a good day and I am glad they did.

The jaded me sees it as short lived and cannot grasp on to it until I see more of it.

I worked last night and then was on tech support with HP until I practically passed out. I had a really busy work week.

My guess that he is staying here. Again I am not 100% sure how I feel.

Me and the kids will be going to my sisters today to hang out.

Writing today makes me feel anxious or angry I cannot identify the feeling exactly.

I plan to clean the house out good over the next few days to get closer to starting treatments and maybe even some Human Design Readings.

I have all of my business stuff set up except for my purpose and goals for a class I have tomorrow but I am ready to get moving. Very exciting!

OK I think that is all I have for today.
_________________
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
— Anonymous

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
— James Thurber

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
— Victor Frankl