Not sure where I belong?

[thatgirl]

I feel a bit out of place on the active board, so I hope this board will take me???

I have been feeling a bit "off" over there, especially since I completely let my guard down with T and opened up.

And the reason now for feeling SO out of place....

T and I are getting married! October 9th!

We are both so happy.

Before we were officially engaged both of us fantasized about a private ceremony. My first wedding was a big event with the works. It was every girls classic dream wedding. I learned that it really took away from the day and with T it felt so much different. We both wanted a day for us..not everyone else.

There is a quaint little town on the water about an hour from where we live. Very romantic. We were up there yesterday for a festival and decided to look at a few places and one place that we looked at everything just worked. The manager was so very kind, he is giving us the room for free, giving us a discount, etc. It's in a beautiful garden patio!

So, the wedding will consist of about 10-15 people. A ceremony followed by a nice sit down dinner. Guests will order their dinner right there from personalized menus the restaurant will make for us.

I still can't believe how everything has fallen into place. There is still a tiny bit of me that yearns for a big wedding, but I hope that will go away.

And the day after the wedding we are inviting some friends (less than 20) to join us on a wine tour that we are hosting as our celebration!

[Miss Kate]

Congratulations TG

Awesome news!!!!

BTDT on the "big" wedding....if I had my time again....I would go "small". The stress of organising a big do for 50 for the ceremony and 160 in the evening damn near finished me off....and the come down afterwards was intense....after spending a year with arrangments....to have nothing to do the day after was weird...I had "Post Wedding Withdrawal Symptoms" LOL
_________________
According to Echo it's "none of what they say, 1/2 of what they do" <--purely for me to remember LOL!!!!

"There will be no silver lining without a dark cloud, nor will there ever be a rainbow without a spell of rain." - Rashida Khilawala.

“You can't undo anything you've already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And then let God do the rest.”

[PDJOVER]

Congrats TG!
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I can choose to go forward with love and caring, happy with me, or go forward with anger and bitterness, happy with no one. I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY WITH ME!

"Life's a climb, but the view's great." (Quote from the Hannah Montana movie)


Pat

[sld]

Wondermous TG!

And as for "the" big wedding... it will be as big as your heart.

Congrats!

Sherri
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“Coming together is the beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” Henry Ford

“Never fear letting go....it is the kindest thing most loving thing you can do." Royce

Change your thoughts and you change your world.
~Norman Vincent Peale (1898 - 1993)

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
~Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

[thatgirl]

Thanks everyone!

As happy as I am about all of this, I am trying to keep up with the changes. I feel myself slipping a little and I need to center a bit.

I think I am just over analyzing everything. I do see definite and huge changes with T and I and that is awesome, but I get nervous at the same time that we'll fall off the wagon. I keep asking T if he is sure that he wants this and he keeps saying "Yes, I am sure, I wouldn't have initiated us going to counseling, I wouldn't have asked you to marry me, I wouldn't make sure every day that we talk about things, etc). He is always very patient in his response, but I know it's going to get old soon.

I guess I just have to give him that last ounce of trust that I am still holding on to.

[BunnyGirl]

Congratulations TG!!!!!!

I say a small, simple wedding is best. At my wedding, we had some of our guests provide as gifts many of the things that would have been contracted to professionals. Someone did the "catering," my SIL did the flowers and decorations, a couple of friends took the photographs, a couple of friends did music, and we had the reception at BIL/SIL's penthouse apartment. And 32 years later I will never forget those gifts and who "gave" them.

My SIL had a "pot luck" wedding reception for her wedding. My brother and his wife went to the justice of the peace and then had a party a month later.

I say go with what has meaning to YOU rather than what convention dictates.
_________________
"Love is essentially self communicative; those who do not have it catch it from those who have it.
True love is unconquerable and irresistible. It goes on gathering power and spreading itself until eventually it transforms everyone it touches."

"Love is no game for the faint-hearted and the weak; it is born of strength and understanding"

Progress not perfection

[Miss Kate]

[echo]

OMG!!!!! How great! I am soo happy for you and soo proud of you and think this is just great!

Keep your head on straight!

wonderful news!
_________________
It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
— Anonymous

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
— James Thurber

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
— Victor Frankl

[mhtid5]

Congratulations! I have read your situation from the start and ours is a lot alike. I am with you a small wedding is more intimate! :)

Hope your cake decorating class went well.

[thatgirl]

Thanks!

I am making it a goal to NOT discuss T's thoughts when we were separated. Or his actions either. He has been overly patient with me and I have to stop. I have to enjoy it. Besides, we are still in counseling together so I have that as an outlet if I need it.

The good thing is I am seeing a connection. This is how I was when we were apart - obsessive. I know I mentioned it in a post before where I keep saying/asking/telling something to T because I feel like he doesn't get it or hear me, etc. I knew I had to stop this before and was making progress but now I am doing it again. So no more of this! T has done more than enough to prove how sorry he is and how happy he is now...I have to let it go now...especially because I am GLAD it happened.

The cake decorating class was a nightmare to be honest. I am not very good. I cried three times yesterday when making and icing my cake. It's far more difficult than I thought. I have never been good with creative stuff like this, so I don't know why I thought I could do this. My cake was the worst in the class.

But I will go back next week and try again. I have two more classes in this session and wanted to take a min of two sessions...we'll see.

[mhtid5]

((((thatgirl)))) The good thing is that you tried the cake decorating class and you haven't given up! Do you enjoy it all? Maybe there is a different class that interests you more?

I think you made a great goal there not to discuss thoughts of when you were seperated. Look at the future and how close you guys are now.

[thatgirl]

I feel so stressed lately and don't really have a great explanation as to why.

T and I are getting married Oct. 9th. It's just 15 people or so. It's what I wanted. I have been through the whole nonsense of a wedding and don't want it, but why do I feel like I am missing out on something now?
I get sad if I see a commercial for a big wedding. I get sad when I hear people talk about their big wedding. Our therapist talked to us about how people associate a big wedding with a big marriage. The bigger the more elaborate a wedding is, the couple feels their marriage is big. If you have a small wedding, your marriage is small.

This is how I feel. Like people must think that we don't REALLY care because if we did then we would opt for this whole big day.

I know that I obviously care way too much about what people think...or what I think people think.

Honestly, I just want to be his wife. I don't care how it happens, but when I start thinking about it...I obsess.

I think too because I did have the whole big wedding before I feel like I should do it now I know..total backwards thinking compared to others in my situation who claim they would never do it all again.

I don't think I am making much sense...